Lakera's Stories

Wow

Lakera — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 20:44:09 +0000

It’s been nearly a year since I last posted on here! Can you believe that? I can’t. To be honest, I had nearly forgotten this blog until I looked in my inbox and found an email from wordpress, telling me that someone had commented in chat! So, hi there Mazemaker!

Leaflet

Lakera — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 15:43:26 +0000

That day I found a scrap of paper in my school’s playground. Well I say I found it but it’s more like it found me. I was walking into class, you see, when this leaflet flew into my face. I chucked it in the bin, but couldn’t forget that snippet of info I had accidentally read (you know how it is). I dismissed it. In form time one of the very same leaflets splatted on the window. Same in Geography and French. So, as you can imagine, I was suitably freaked out by the time break came around. This is going to sound predictable and really unrealistic, but a flier (those things really do fly!) hit my leg that time. I was getting fed up by that point. Haunted by a handout!
I had nothing better to do so I read it. “It is imperative that you send this on. Once you read the four-hundred-and-seventy-ninth word, you are doomed – unless you send this on another round.” Now I really was annoyed. A chainmail pamphlet? This is just ridiculous!
I resolved to read the rest “Jesse Jenks thought she was above sending this on. She didn’t believe in the power this booklet holds. She suffered the consequences.” Like that’s true. “Robert Larms suffered a heart attack after Googleing Jesse and finding it to be true. He was fortunate that the person who found him plucked this leaflet from his hand. He recovered nicely, but would have died if he had not had such luck.” Why has it targeted me? I wondered. What have I done?
Just as I was going to read what other nonsense this thing contained, the bell rang. *Bring! Bring! Bring! Bring!* I begrudgingly went to Science. I hate chemistry – I always think I’m going to blow something up! Luckily for me, we were exploring fire and so I could put the leaflet into something useful. The whole time, I felt uncomfortable. All because of that stupid thing. I was even more relieved to be free of that classroom than normal – and that’s saying something! I scoffed my lunch and legged it to the library to bag a computer. I immediately searched ‘Jesse Jenks’. The story was true. She had died, and in her hand was a letter similar to the leaflet I had just burnt. I sat in shock for the rest of lunch.
Games went by in a haze, and now it’s English. You told me to write a true story about something that happened to me recently. This is it. I have written this last sentence for your sake, Miss Kelkey, and anyone else you show this to. I had to pass it on. Hopefully this despicable thing will be put to sleep – for good. I’ve sent it on. This is the last thing you need to know; that four-hundred-and-seventy-ninth word was:

Squirrels

Lakera — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 13:24:20 +0000

That day I had something clarified for me – my dad is truly barmy. Or should I say nuts! You see, he has told me to write a story about squirrels – yes, that’s right; squirrels. I have no idea what I’m supposed to write, but hey ho. I have half an hour (that’s thirty minutes (30 mins for those of you who are very picky and have rejected my other ways of saying the same thing)) to write three or four hundred words on the cute critters that are squirrels. It has to be a story as well! So, anyway.

There once was a squirrel called Bob. He lived in a green green ever evergreen tree in a green green partially ever evergreen park in a big green green never nevergrey town. He was a very easily confused squirrel and it was infectious. He confused everyone around him, and they, in turn, confused others. Have I confused you yet? ‘Cus Bob says meow and flubblberry pie.

Now how rubbish was that story???????????????? Very, that’s how much! Try this one:

I hate squirrels. They bite you. Then put you down and dig a bit then tuck you up. Then they abandon you for ages! Totally ignore you. For ages. Then they come back for you. Only it’s not always the same one. Then they start over again. It really stinks. Oh well. Maybe it’s not the squirrels. Maybe it’s being a nut!

Did you see that coming? Did you realise it was a nut telling the story?

What’s a squirrel? Never heard of one. Do you mean a squiggle? Those bushy creatures with bald tails? No? What? Other way round? You mean it’s a bad creature with a bushy tail? How odd – repulsive really. Or at least the image in my head is. No, surely it can’t be that! OH! Those troublesome jangos? The ones with the smooth fur on their bodies and bushy tails? Why call them squirrels?? What a stupid name! They are JANGOS for goodness sakes!

Yeah – take your own advice! Fancy saying squirrel is a bad name when you call them jangos. ‘Jango’ is quite catchy though, you have to admit!

Lakera

Change of Plan

Lakera — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 12:53:10 +0000

Yes, another one! Sorry about this – I can never make up my mind – or at least it seems like it.

Instead of this site being about my boring life, it can be for short stories. I might occasionally do some real-life stuff, but mostly fiction.

Lakera

Hello world!

Lakera — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 19:56:05 +0000

Hi, I’m guessing you’ve just come here from http://lakera.wordpress.com/? If so, you’ve come to the right place!